What if I tell you, there is an item that has became a new gadget for lot of persons who like to relax and discover the feelings that music can give us?. Music is therapy, has long been used to help people deal with their emotions. Robert Burton's The Anatomy of Melancholy argued that music and dance were critical in treating mental illness, especially melancholia. He noted that music has an excellent power to fight with many other diseases. Music is not just for relaxing, the big diversity of music give us the opportunity to make the music an art not just for listening, you can feel different emotions while listening, such as fear, happiness, sadness, desesperation etc.
Nowadays, new technologies like the mp3 or as we know the iPod have been changing the idea of listening to music, every moment, every place or just to kill boredom is good for listening to music. The increasing popularity of listening to music as digital music files on MP3 players, iPods, or computers, and of trading music on file sharing sites or buying it online in the form of digital files had a major impact on the traditional music business. Many smaller independent CD stores went out of business as music buyers decreased their purchases of CDs, and many labels had lower CD sales. Some companies did well with the change to a digital format, though, such as Apple's iTunes, an online store which sells digital files of songs over the Internet.
On the other hand not everybody have the plan to get an iPod, but almost everybody like music, Music can be divided into genres and subgenres, although the dividing lines and relationships between music genres are often subtle, sometimes open to individual interpretationcan and this can reflects the personality of people.
Music is composed and performed for many purposes, religious or ceremonial purposes, or as an entertainment product for the marketplace. Amateur musicians compose and perform music for their own pleasure, and they do not derive their income from music.
We should take advantage of the new items we have, but in fact, something that we must understand is that the real treasure we have is the music and we should enjoy it and discover new forms of art that can change our lifes.
Mechanic: 1.5 Language use: 5 Vocabulary: 4 Organization: 3 Content: 3
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Hello Luis Enrique
ResponderEliminarThe support of your ideas and the paragraph organization is excellent. Maybe, the article will be wonderful if you talk more about your opinion of the use of iPot in your life.
Hi Luis Enrique,
ResponderEliminarI like what you wrote. In general I think you have good ideas and the way you express them is clear and well organized. Maybe the text will be more expressive if you talked about your special connection with your iPod.
I like your composition. You express your ideas really clear and organized just add more description about your connection to your Ipod
ResponderEliminarHi Enrique:
ResponderEliminarYou did good, you wrote good description about music and its market, I liked how you explain the new digital music trade but sometimes I got lost, were you writing about music or the treasured possesion? and check this line "On the other hand not everybody have the plan to get an iPod, but almost everybody like music"
Hi Enrique: really good, I like how you express the benefits of music, so good work, and the only thing that maybe you could add is your own experience with music, why it is so important for you, but in general good work.
ResponderEliminarHi Enrique
ResponderEliminari like your composition, I think the structure it's good, and the organization of ideas is well.
Enrique:
ResponderEliminarI think it was a very good job, your ideas are organized and clear. But you miss something, to tell you why music or the iPods are important in your life.
Hello Quique!!!
ResponderEliminarI like a lot the description that you wrote about the importance of music in our lives, I agree with that idea, and how the tecnology provides us the facility to have it with us. To improve your composition I would add more details about your personal treasured objects.
Hi Enrique: Your writing is good, well organised and with clear ideas; but I think that you forgot the important point thas was explaining why you treasured your iPod or your music...
ResponderEliminarHi Enrique:
ResponderEliminarI think you lost a little the objective of the composition that was about treasures and you talked very much about music which is good but not for this composition, you should have talked more about what a treasure represents for you and for people´s lives.I would make some changes on the order of the paragraphs maybe to separate them a little.
Despites what I mentioned it was a good story
good job!!!
regards
Robert
Hello Enrique.
ResponderEliminarI think your composition is well organized, and you explained clearly and with details music, but you should write more about why you treasure your ipod, or your music.
Hi L.E.:
ResponderEliminarYour work shows your passion for music maybe the real treasure is music and not the iPod as an object. In general it´s well written and I liked it.
HI Luis Enrique, your work has a good description about the roll that music has in everyone´s life. Altought in some parts I felt I was reading more about the music than your treasured possession, that I think is your I pod, your composition has clear ideas that tell us the importance of music in your life.
ResponderEliminarHi Enrique, your composition is weird je je, not really I tell you this because I have the perception of reading an article, more than a compsition, it´s well organized but the way you use the structure give me that impression, nevertheless is good
ResponderEliminarHi Enrique.
ResponderEliminarI like your composition, it is fluent and there are not many errors at all.
The thing is that you should at some point talk about your treasured object.
Hi Enrique
ResponderEliminarYou made a good composition. I like how you describe the music, maybe you should add why the music is so important for you
Berenice
Hi Enrique!
ResponderEliminarI like your argues about benefits of music and I agree with them. You organized it well but I just recommend you to separate the ideas into more paragraphs. Congratulations!
Hi Enrique
ResponderEliminarI liked tha way you set your point. You explained a lot of ideas about why music is important for people. I just found a few mistakes on mechanics but the text is clear.